Category: poetry

poetry

~ Not for Me ~

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~ Not for Me ~

Where is your soul man
I wonder as I listen to your words
And watch you judging me
Despite not even knowing me
You don’t listen to my reply
As you bark on about yourself
Telling me how great you are
And then shitting on me
Because you make more money
And have different goals.

Don’t you see how ugly you have become?
Your face is mangled and distorted
If only you could see it under the right light
With the right instrument
You’d be able to see how damaged you are
And that maybe you are not as great as you think
But deep down I suspect you already know that
As you bark out your stale beliefs
Declaring of your greatness while high on drugs
Trying to make me guess how much you earn.

I hope one day you will sober up
And your voice will go quiet
So you can finally hear the inner voice 
That you have tried to drown out all these years
And you will discover how poor you really are
As you face that Monday morning mirror
On another comedown at work
Back to your life that you need to escape from
As the truth weighs down on you,

That you’re a bad person.

poetry

Round Twelve

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~ Round Twelve ~

Beaten
Punched out
On the canvas
Life hitting harder than ever
And you fight to get up again
But this time, the thousandth time,
You finally begin to feel the futility
As you think back to all the struggle
The seeming eternity of this constant battle
As the crowd stands watching
And you contemplate finally succumbing
Letting yourself fade away under the lights
Feeling the heaviness of your heart
Battered and bruised
But, somehow, still beating its blood
That life force still flowing through you
As you take a deep breath
And feel a new surge of energy
That makes you stand once again to your feet
Delirious and even crazier than before
Not the same person anymore
Worn down, reshaped
And doing whatever it takes
To stay in the fight
And find some strength from somewhere
As you move forward back into it
To face the punches
Once again.

poetry

~ Light Seeking ~

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~ Light Seeking ~

Cutting me apart
This life drives daggers into me
And out pours all the essence
To collect in puddles at my feet
I walk on, not knowing
Where I am going
Or if I’ll have enough to make it
Through this brute of a world.

I didn’t come here for this
But something inside says
There is a way through
Past the days of pain
The periods of emptiness
Those few shining moments
Sun rays through the rain clouds
As everything pauses to remind me
There is beauty there
Immense light and divinity
And that those things exist within me too.

But for now the rain falls hard
And I wander onwards
Holding onto the feeling that
One day the clouds will fully dissolve
And this whole world will illuminate
As all the grand illusions dissipate
And finally I’ll see this life for what it really is
And feel it for what it really is
As the sunshine drenches me
And life is good and complete
And I laugh with a ferocious, awaited joy.

poetry

~ What I Want ~

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~ What I Want ~

Standing in a room alone
Occupying this space with my thoughts
I want the whole world in here with me
To know what this feeling is like
And see if there are others feeling this too.

At the same time I want to be taking off
Leaving this earth behind as I ascend above
This vast universe opening itself up for me
As I get lost with no way of coming back
Sailing forever among a sea of stars
Where my soul will feel something
That only infinity can evoke.

I’m a mystery to myself
Some days I think I know what I want
That I am settled upon this earth
But other days I’m left feeling something
That cannot be accurately said
But only felt deep within
As my eyes stare into the skies
And my heart aches for something
Not available in these surroundings.

I guess I’m not the only one
Haunted by indescribable feelings
Looking at what is in front of me
And deducing that it isn’t enough.

Like every great dreamer,
My bones long to dance in some forbidden place
The greatest and grandest of palaces
Which can’t be found with sane eyes.

I want to delve into the deepest caves
And find the gold which has never been seen.

I want to experience the totality of the galaxies
As my soul is set alight
By the essence of existence.

Bricks and mortar isn’t enough.
Weekend revelry isn’t enough.
Those items advertised to me on TV
Aren’t enough.

The incompletion is true,
And I want to find what perhaps
Every one of us secretly yearns for
That something that fills the soul with light
That causes death to become laughable
And finally satisfies the eternal ache for the ineffable
That exists in us all.

poetry

~ A Loss of Fire ~

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~ A Loss of Fire ~

Maybe I’m just dry of inspiration
Or maybe what I feared is finally happening:
My soul is slowly starting to die
As I begin to somehow fit into this world
A little more smoothly
And the sentences that leave my mouth
Are a little more normal.

I always wondered if the day would come
Where that fire inside would dwindle
Before finally flickering out.

To other’s eyes I would probably seemed fixed
There would be no more rage
No more snarling or biting
The monkey finally off my back.

But inside I would be missing something
No expression existing anymore
No madness keeping me awake at night
No need to run off into the forest fires.

A stable mind without the need to write poetry
Is probably what constitutes most happy minds.

But having tasted the magic
How could this life ever be as glorious
As it was when I was young and full of heartache
Hanging onto words to stop myself
From going insane.

How could this life ever be as glorious
For when I fought my way through hell
As my inner song rang out
Of every part of my body.

Yes, a part of me says
I’m not sure I want to be straightened out
Or mentally stable
A speaker of sane words.

Stability is a dull ride
And I’d rather my spirit soar
And the wheels on my vehicle burst into flames
As I keep on racing towards an unreachable horizon.

I’d rather awaken in strange places
With my body battered
But my soul laughing 
At surviving yet another storm.

I’d rather stand under a night sky
Haunted and confused
While feeling a sense of wonder
That only sadness can evoke.

Yes, the day these words finally end
And I don’t even feel the burning desire
I’ll know that I’ll have finally let the fire be snuffed out
And this life will never give me
The same heat again.

poetry

~ After the Storm ~

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~ After the Storm ~

And here I am stand on the shore
Drying out in the sun
I’ve found my way through the storm
Back into the gentle light
Of peace and tranquillity.

I fought through the violent waves
And felt my soul being drowned
I contemplated what it was to go
Letting myself be consumed
And pulled into the abyss.

The monsters encircled
The light dwindled
And my mind dissipated 
But something within me knew
That I’d find my way back
Emerging like the dawn light on the ocean
To see this world awakening again
As blue skies burst with potential.

This is the story of a survivor
Standing on the shores of salvation
Laughing at the passing of the storm
At the seasick joy in his heart
And the footprints in the sand
Disappearing in the waves
As the transience of the tide
Creates a blank canvass
To begin beautifully
Again.

poetry

~ A Damaged Man, But An Honest One ~

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~ A Damaged Man, But An Honest One ~

For the first time ever
I have to think about what I’m writing
I normally just threw words out into the world
With flippant disregard
For what anyone thinks of it
But now I have a girlfriend
And my girlfriend has parents
Who take a strong interest in her affairs
Which naturally includes me….

Her mum is following my blog
So she sees all the things I write
My poems of destruction and darkness
And, I assume, makes opinions of me from them.

Freedom is essential to expression
And what is a writer to do
When he feels self-conscious
And even constricted
About the words he is writing.

The way I see it:
She is probably going to read this poem at some point
But I just have to accept that I’ve started down this path
There’s no turning back
There’s no quelling my voice
No shielding people from the savage truth
That runs rampant in my heart.

I’ve started so I’m going finish
And keep on sharing my words
Bellowing out the secrets of my soul
On this megaphone
Like a crazy preacher
In a city centre square.

Yes, I’m not a straight-edged person
I’m not a poster boy partner
But I am a human-being
Who is in touch with his core
And I speak with total authority
About my experiences.

My life hasn’t been a smooth ride
I’ve been on a turbulent journey
Searching this world for purpose
While finding trouble along the way.

I’ve veered close to death and madness
And broken my heart a few times
But I’ve also found inner peace
And developed a sense of self-understanding
That has inspired me to put my defences down
And open my heart to the world
To share my story.

This is who I am; this is what I do.
I will never hide or edit my feelings
Or write poems to be read out at social events
Or to impress bosses or in-laws.

My words are bloody and uncivilised
They may make some people uncomfortable
And perhaps make them see me in a new light
Not always a favourable one.

But doing this gives me something
That purifies, invigorates
And keeps me living a life
Of personal truth
And freedom.

So here I am:
A damaged man
But an honest one
Who has decided
He’ll keep on writing
And showing his scarred face
While being unashamedly
And unapologetically
Himself.

poetry

~ The Great Dance ~

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~ The Great Dance ~

It comes from somewhere
I know not where
But this voice inside me
Sings some universal spirit
Channelling the cosmos
As I pour words onto pages
And feel the fire of the stars
Burning in my fingertips
While looking around me
Watching the birds fly in a sunset sky

Somehow they, too, are apart of what’s happening
All this nature working together
Like one giant organism
Those sparrow wings fluttering
Those clouds drifting in the sky
Those waves crashing on shorelines

It’s all working together in some complete way
And I surrender myself to this harmony
Knowing it is not me writing anymore
There is no conscious creator
It’s just the universal flow
That causes everything bright and beautiful
Like those immense patterns of colour
Just as that sun begins to hit the horizon
And ignites the sky into a fiery red
While the song of the birds rings out
And I imagine some native tribe singing
Somewhere in some distant land
On the other side of the ocean
Everyone singing in unison
Dancing with their naked feet
Upon this earth.

This is the great law of energy
And accept this poem as person singing
As another ocean wave crashing
As another bird flapping its wings
As another cloud drifting in the sky
And then continue on your own day
And join in the cosmic dance.

You, too, are apart of this.

poetry

~ Starlight Signal ~

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~ Starlight Signal ~

The birds last song of the day sounds out in this suburb
The clouds begin to lose their distinction
Night is coming as the sun sinks below the horizon
And the first star appears in the sky
Taking that leap to be the first one
To shine and let its presence be known.

My life is changing right now
I’m feeling things that are new to me
I’m living in some space that is hazy
Heading over the horizon to a new place
But I realise you are that first star in the sunset sky
Signalling the change
Like a glinting diamond.

I sit back and sip my wine
As more stars become visible
One by one they appear
These burning beauties
Slowly unveiling themselves
Showing me that once the sun sets
And a period of my life ends
There will always be something there
Transforming my world into something else
Something that turns people into dreamers
To contemplate the whole universe
And all the love and beauty in it
And the possibility of what is to come.

poetry

~ End Times ~

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Not a day goes by
Where I don’t think about
Breaking this world apart
I’m sick of seeing these people
Potential shiners of light
Drifting like rain clouds
Through dead streets
Devoid of imagination
Vision and spirit.

They do not see life how it is
On their one ticket to the show
They sit staring at screens
Sticking their heads in the sand
Missing the cosmic magic.

Not a day goes by
Where I don’t want to scream
And let the shriek of my soul
Bellow out across this city
To shaken the windows
Of those who sit in slumber
Stale minds on sofas
Who do not hear the music
That plays outside
In the trees.

How am I going to make it
Another forty or fifty years
Without losing my mind
Having to face these people
And talk to them in their language
It is the language of dead
And I long to be alive.

I won’t accept this lifestyle anymore
Or this government pissing on me
Or the companies pissing on me
As they continually raise their prices
While wages stagnant.

The collapse is coming
That is for sure
And I do not fear it.

Let the whole system fall down, I say
Let it be biblical and messy
I want to see the look in the eyes of everyone
As they see that the life they lived 
Was nothing more than some illusion
Built on shifting sands.

Then they will stand in the wasteland
Where they will be asked to look inside themselves
And see what they are made of
To see what they have left
To see if they saved enough of their soul
To endure the end times.

The glorious end times.