thoughts

~ A Life Worth Dying For ~

~ A Life Worth Dying For ~

Back in the neighbourhoods of normality scrolling, scanning and searching for something that I knew was not there. I didn’t see it any of their eyes or hear it in any of their conversations. People of my kind; of my sickness and madness. This world had claimed the last of those wild souls, their world cemented over and tarmacked down, their dreams dead on the cold streets of modern life where houses were full but souls empty, where newspapers opened and minds closed – where the curtains were drawn along with our creativity and curiosity. I didn’t want any part of it. I wanted to go far away from it all. I wanted to get lost. I wanted to live a life of adventure and exploration. A life that would shake my bones and rattle my teeth; that would put light in my eyes and fire in my heart. Sometimes I felt bad for my parents; that I wasn’t anything that they probably wanted me to be. But I couldn’t change even if I tried or wanted to. My heart was corrupted and it was out in the unknown where I belonged. Wandering wide-eyed through the wilderness. Getting lost in the dream. Living a life that I could call my own; that I would remember as the last bit of light left my eye. A life to tell stories about. A life to write home about. A life worth dying for.

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thoughts

~ The Solitary Shadows ~

~ The Solitary Shadows ~

You know those spaces well. Whenever you fail once again to find your place in society, you return once again to those solitary shadows, dreaming of rising from that world of borders and barriers, of shackles and chains, of barbed wire fences, cement minds and plastic faces. But no matter how much you dream, you are still tied and tethered down to this world in which you don’t belong. You are stuck with the murdering machine of society waiting for you. The jobs that make the light leave the eye. The mindless crowds of conformity that kill the individual spirit. The way being totally yourself scares off anyone who is afraid to show their true face. And where, you wonder, can a person turn to in the quest to not be consumed by a machine which cannot tolerate your very existence? It’s your own isolation. It’s the fringes of sanity and society. It’s the edge of town where you stare back at a place you know you’ll never belong. It’s the place of the outcast and outsider.
To be an outsider in society is not something that you aspire to when you’re a child. And make no mistake about, no matter how strong the individual, it hurts like hell when you first realise that you don’t belong – that you are not ‘one of them’. Holding your head in your hands, you retreat to the isolated places. You kick your feet. You lick your wounds. You despair in the darkness. But after a while of being on your own, you look back in at that world and what do you see? You see a world defined by rules and regulations. You see many people living in fear of what other people think of them. You see people who allow themselves to become slowly twisted up by neglecting the nature of their souls. And it’s from that position, you start to realise the beauty of being existing in your own space. For you know that not being controlled by the crowd, you can see the things they don’t see; do the things they can’t do; go to places they can’t go. You develop a unique, creative outlook on life. You uncover the treasures you possess within. And with them in hand you move fearlessly forward. You grow; you evolve; you rise. You become the maker of your own destiny – the ruler of your heart. After a while life takes on a new meaning and magic, and ultimately you no longer fear the solitary shadows, for you know it’s there in that darkness where the greatest gold is found.
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thoughts

~ Turning Tides ~

~ Turning Tides ~

“The tide is high and the masses have been proven to be wrong once again. The earth burns as so many continue to sleep-walk through life. Mental health is worse than ever. The system is killing us slowly but surely. We now live in lives of technological development but spiritual emptiness. Lives where the houses are full but the soul empty. Lives where newspapers open and minds close. Lives where the curtains are drawn along with our curiosity and creatively. If there was ever time to take back control then this is it. Toss aside whatever doesn’t feed your soul. Tear up the script of convention. Ruthlessly explore your inner and outer worlds. This was never meant to be a formulaic journey to the grave down a grey highway of work, television and weekend drinking. That is nothing but a formula that has been shoved down our throats from a young age. So many have swallowed it and allowed themselves to sink into sofas of submission with their dreams disappearing down the sides. Those dreams are precious so don’t let them gather dust in dark, forgotten corners. Don’t let the wonderful gift of existence pass you by. The time has come to rise up from the drudgery. To throw open the curtains once again to the light of beauty and life. To open the door to adventure and exploration. The time has come to go out there and live a life, and not just exist in one.”

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thoughts

~ To Live ~

~ To Live ~

“To jump the fences. To run with the wild horses. To dance beneath the stars. To walk wide-eyed through the wilderness. To stare into the sunset skies. To stoke the fire in your heart; to shine the light of your soul. To hunt the horizons of foreign lands. To awaken to new sights and new sounds and new smells. To be so immersed in life that your eyes glisten with magic. To forget everything you’ve been taught and begin anew. To take the trip. To roll the dice. To sail into the unknown. Is to live.”

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thoughts

~ On the Precipice ~

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~ On the Precipice ~

“It had been another day of isolation in a city of thousands. The alienation was worse than ever and I wanted to write down and share my story with them. I stared at the blank page and lifted my fingertips toward the keyboard. In a moment of desperation, I hurled myself towards humanity. I offered my heart, my blood, my guts, my soul. I offered every ounce of myself to those stern-eyed creatures of culture and convention. Naturally, they didn’t want anything to do with me. I understood that, I guess. I was an ugly piece of work, a manic mind incapable of reasonable or rational thought. I knew I was making a fool of myself by sharing the mess from my mind, but I guess I just desperately wanted someone to see things from my perspective. Whenever I wrote, I often envisaged a sane and sensible person strolling down the sidewalks of society. I guess a sinister part of me just wanted to drag them into the woods of my madness; to show them the solitary world in which I resided. It was hopeless, I guess. No one cared what I had to say, and after a few minutes I wondered if I cared anymore either. In my bones, I knew that there was no chance of ever being understood. My soul had been corrupted and my cards had been dealt. No matter what I did or where I went in this world, I was doomed and destined to be an outcast – an outsider. A stupid alien roaming the fringes of sanity and society, of suicide and madness.”

thoughts

~ The Symphony of You ~

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“Let it come from the gut. Let it flow from the heart. Let every last drop come soaring out of you, pouring forth onto this world, streaming freely from the source of the soul. Let it scream out across cities of the sane. Let it roll in like a hurricane, like an avalanche. Let whatever is inside of you trying to get out, let it come out with furious urgency. Don’t hold back the very things that stir deep inside of you. To do that deprives this world of what it needs. And what this world needs now more than ever is something real and raw. What this world needs is the deepest, darkest secrets of the silent souls – the ones whose voice has waited in the shadows for too long. The ones who never get the air time, yet have the most beautiful things to share. The ones who guard their mouth, because they fear how this fake society will react to something authentic and genuine. Warriors of the shadows, you have been silent for too long. So throw down the barriers. Draw back the curtains. Walk out onto that spotlight stage. Open your heart and let this world hear the symphony of you.”

thoughts

~ Heading Home ~

~ Heading Home ~

“Sometimes you wonder how many souls are also out there drifting through life, staring into space and skies, dreaming of something ineffable, a home that can never seem to be found here or there or anywhere. The eyes scan and search those grey streets for another of your kind, but you know deep down your fate is to wander alone through the wilderness of life, becoming ever more scratched and scarred by the wild things roaming around inside of you. You know you deserve a home, everyone deserves to feel like they have a home, even if it’s just for a short period, to stare into the eyes of another who finally understands, but ultimately nothing comes or arrives. Its the dark room of isolation. It’s the solitary shoreline. It’s the tired head against the bus window. It’s the trudging on alone through the swamps and storms, fighting through the muck and mess and madness in your own mind. Yet through all of this inner chaos, comes a great strength somewhere inside of you, strong enough to blast the darkness, to slay your demons and save yourself from the haunted places. In your own isolation, you gradually become a warrior of the wild – your own protector, your own saviour. You create your own world and forge your own path home. Even if you will never find it, you’ll always be out there hunting the horizon with wide eyes, moving fearlessly forward to the lands of your distant destiny. To the lands of salvation. To the lands of light and love and the life that is yours and will always be yours.”

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