Tag: society

poetry

~ Not for Me ~

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~ Not for Me ~

Where is your soul man
I wonder as I listen to your words
And watch you judging me
Despite not even knowing me
You don’t listen to my reply
As you bark on about yourself
Telling me how great you are
And then shitting on me
Because you make more money
And have different goals.

Don’t you see how ugly you have become?
Your face is mangled and distorted
If only you could see it under the right light
With the right instrument
You’d be able to see how damaged you are
And that maybe you are not as great as you think
But deep down I suspect you already know that
As you bark out your stale beliefs
Declaring of your greatness while high on drugs
Trying to make me guess how much you earn.

I hope one day you will sober up
And your voice will go quiet
So you can finally hear the inner voice 
That you have tried to drown out all these years
And you will discover how poor you really are
As you face that Monday morning mirror
On another comedown at work
Back to your life that you need to escape from
As the truth weighs down on you,

That you’re a bad person.

poetry

~ Light Seeking ~

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~ Light Seeking ~

Cutting me apart
This life drives daggers into me
And out pours all the essence
To collect in puddles at my feet
I walk on, not knowing
Where I am going
Or if I’ll have enough to make it
Through this brute of a world.

I didn’t come here for this
But something inside says
There is a way through
Past the days of pain
The periods of emptiness
Those few shining moments
Sun rays through the rain clouds
As everything pauses to remind me
There is beauty there
Immense light and divinity
And that those things exist within me too.

But for now the rain falls hard
And I wander onwards
Holding onto the feeling that
One day the clouds will fully dissolve
And this whole world will illuminate
As all the grand illusions dissipate
And finally I’ll see this life for what it really is
And feel it for what it really is
As the sunshine drenches me
And life is good and complete
And I laugh with a ferocious, awaited joy.

poetry

~ What I Want ~

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~ What I Want ~

Standing in a room alone
Occupying this space with my thoughts
I want the whole world in here with me
To know what this feeling is like
And see if there are others feeling this too.

At the same time I want to be taking off
Leaving this earth behind as I ascend above
This vast universe opening itself up for me
As I get lost with no way of coming back
Sailing forever among a sea of stars
Where my soul will feel something
That only infinity can evoke.

I’m a mystery to myself
Some days I think I know what I want
That I am settled upon this earth
But other days I’m left feeling something
That cannot be accurately said
But only felt deep within
As my eyes stare into the skies
And my heart aches for something
Not available in these surroundings.

I guess I’m not the only one
Haunted by indescribable feelings
Looking at what is in front of me
And deducing that it isn’t enough.

Like every great dreamer,
My bones long to dance in some forbidden place
The greatest and grandest of palaces
Which can’t be found with sane eyes.

I want to delve into the deepest caves
And find the gold which has never been seen.

I want to experience the totality of the galaxies
As my soul is set alight
By the essence of existence.

Bricks and mortar isn’t enough.
Weekend revelry isn’t enough.
Those items advertised to me on TV
Aren’t enough.

The incompletion is true,
And I want to find what perhaps
Every one of us secretly yearns for
That something that fills the soul with light
That causes death to become laughable
And finally satisfies the eternal ache for the ineffable
That exists in us all.

poetry

~ After the Storm ~

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~ After the Storm ~

And here I am stand on the shore
Drying out in the sun
I’ve found my way through the storm
Back into the gentle light
Of peace and tranquillity.

I fought through the violent waves
And felt my soul being drowned
I contemplated what it was to go
Letting myself be consumed
And pulled into the abyss.

The monsters encircled
The light dwindled
And my mind dissipated 
But something within me knew
That I’d find my way back
Emerging like the dawn light on the ocean
To see this world awakening again
As blue skies burst with potential.

This is the story of a survivor
Standing on the shores of salvation
Laughing at the passing of the storm
At the seasick joy in his heart
And the footprints in the sand
Disappearing in the waves
As the transience of the tide
Creates a blank canvass
To begin beautifully
Again.

poetry

~ End Times ~

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Not a day goes by
Where I don’t think about
Breaking this world apart
I’m sick of seeing these people
Potential shiners of light
Drifting like rain clouds
Through dead streets
Devoid of imagination
Vision and spirit.

They do not see life how it is
On their one ticket to the show
They sit staring at screens
Sticking their heads in the sand
Missing the cosmic magic.

Not a day goes by
Where I don’t want to scream
And let the shriek of my soul
Bellow out across this city
To shaken the windows
Of those who sit in slumber
Stale minds on sofas
Who do not hear the music
That plays outside
In the trees.

How am I going to make it
Another forty or fifty years
Without losing my mind
Having to face these people
And talk to them in their language
It is the language of dead
And I long to be alive.

I won’t accept this lifestyle anymore
Or this government pissing on me
Or the companies pissing on me
As they continually raise their prices
While wages stagnant.

The collapse is coming
That is for sure
And I do not fear it.

Let the whole system fall down, I say
Let it be biblical and messy
I want to see the look in the eyes of everyone
As they see that the life they lived 
Was nothing more than some illusion
Built on shifting sands.

Then they will stand in the wasteland
Where they will be asked to look inside themselves
And see what they are made of
To see what they have left
To see if they saved enough of their soul
To endure the end times.

The glorious end times.

thoughts

~ Begin Again ~

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I put the book in the backpack even though I know I’m not going to read it. I’m just going to end up scrolling on my phone again, stuffing my brain full of useless crap. I’m becoming everything I ever hated. I don’t see the sunshine on the water because my mind is elsewhere. I don’t feel the cosmos flowing through my veins because I’ve numbed myself with alcohol and hangovers. I know the path to peace and happiness; I’ve followed it before. Yet I choose to walk away from the light and become a troubled being like the others. Maybe I’m choosing to do this for a reason. Maybe the pain I’m causing myself will turn to blazing light in a heavenly future. I don’t know to be honest. I don’t know why I do the things I do. I don’t know why I put the book in the backpack even though I know I’m not going to read it. I don’t know why I have those extra drinks at the end of a night out. I don’t know why I’m opening up my phone again, looking at things I don’t even care about. Oh, how the birds sing around me to remind me of what it is to be alive. Oh, how the light tempts me to throw the phone into the river, to detach from this matrix and plug into reality. I pull the book from the backpack. The pages flicker through my hand. I begin reading. I begin again.

poetry

~ Daft Daydreamer Delusions ~

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~ Daft Daydreamer Delusions ~

Some days I dream about solitude
About becoming some sort of hermit
Residing in a cave of my own making
Meditating for hours each day
Living off the bare essentials
Exploring my inner world.

Some days I dream about going away
To a place where sanity is banished
And all the logic and reason of the world
Is permanently banned.

Some days I dream about holding on
To my character and soul
And not letting this world rearrange me
Just to see how I turn out:
A madman or a poet.

Many men dream of taking chances
And perhaps there is no greater risk
Than following your own inner voice
When it tells you to leave the farm
Of regulated normality.

A part of me yearns to leap
Into that untamed wilderness
But reality stares at me menacingly
Snapping its teeth and licking its lips
Daring me to venture out beyond those fences.

Thoughts of starvation hound me again
So I guess I’ll just keep on doing what I can
Finding my way on this safe farm
Earning money, paying bills
Sitting on sofas and staring into space
The days slowly disappearing
As these daft daydreamer delusions
Drift on through my mind.

poetry

~ Taking it Easy ~

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~ Taking it Easy ~

Still never had a proper job
Now in my thirties
I think about how I’ve made it to here
Whilst travelling the world and hardly working
And only earning peanuts when I did.

I’ve taken part in paid medical trials
Which has undoubtedly been the main way
I’ve managed to avoid the rat race.

I’ve also lived frugally.
I only ever owned a few clothes at a time
I never drove or even learned to drive
I was careful and stubborn with my money
Apart from on nights-out
When that all went out the window.

I’ve used student loans
Both for my Bachelors
And another one for my Masters
Which I quit after three weeks
To go travelling in Central America.

Actually, when I think about
I haven’t worked more than six months in a year
In the last seven years now.
Quite the achievement,
If I dare say so myself. 

My friend Bryan says I’m a walking insult
To the hard-working people
Who constantly toil in their careers
Chasing promotions and paychecks
Success and social status.

I’ve not cheated the system or anything
I simply made some choices not to play the game
You just don’t need to own your own property
Or drive a nice car
Or have a full wardrobe
Or eat out at fancy restaurants
Or buy your coffee from Starbucks.

Saving for my next backpacking adventure
Taught me to be brutal with my spending
Buying only what I needed to survive
And through this frugal and minimalistic lifestyle
I actually discovered that you didn’t need much
To be happy, at all.

Yes, it’s a cliche, but a true one.
Just sit and meditate.
Breathe in and out.
Keep active.
Eat reasonably well.
Practise your passion.

Slowly you realise that it’s all a big con
Happiness is available to you whenever you allow it
Just let the solitude and silence teach you
And gently remove the veil of illusion
That is pulled over everyone’s eyes.

Yes, it’s hard to go out and get a ‘proper job’
And join the rat race after you learn these things
But once you’re happy being a loser by society’s standards
You simply don’t care about anyone’s opinion.

You just sit back, write your poetry,
Stare at the birds flapping their wings
As they nestle in the trees.
Like you, they know that there’s nothing to chase
Only something to be cherished.

Life is not a problem to be solved
But a reality to be experienced.

Some great philosopher said that
And you know,
As I take another sip of this wine,
I do have to say that I wholeheartedly agree.

Cheers to that.

poetry

~ Lost in Action ~

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~ Lost In Action ~

You wake up and don’t feel the need to tidy your bed
Your room is unclean like the mess in your head
And you’re standing in showers and staring at walls
Feet stuck to the ground as you stutter and stall
And you’re searching your soul for something not there
A quiet sadness inside as you stand and you stare
Something isn’t right but you can’t quite say
When you’re living your life in this peculiar way.

And you walk down the street and stare at the faces
Searching for others who aren’t quite at the races
You look into their eyes as you stand in the rain
Wondering if anyone else is feeling your pain
You’re in a city of people but feel all alone
With feelings of emptiness filling your bones
But no one can see and you’re looking just fine
Drifting through life and wasting your time.

And you enter your work and sit at your desk
Reporting for duty just like the rest
You shift in your seat and stare at a screen
Feeling inside like you just want to scream
Then you start dreaming of living in a different way
You start searching again for the words you can say
But your mind is numb and your soul is sedated
As you slowly become all that you hated.

And on the way home you do all your chores
You workout at the gym and stop in the stores
You search the shelves of that supermarket aisle
Getting the same things you have for a while
Then head on home to stare at the next screen
Sitting on that sofa still wanting to scream
Reaching for the bottle to forget about tomorrow
Filling the hole and drowning your sorrow.

One day you decide something has to change
You can’t keep feeling this sick and this strange
Life is to be lived and it’s time to begin
To claim back the beauty and spirit within
You try to think of what can be done
Of what it was that once made life fun
But you can’t find the magic that once lingered inside
And you’ve forgotten what it was that made you alive.

Then you’re back to the feeling of being sedated
Back to the feeling of becoming all that you hated
Where life is grey and you’ve lost all purpose
Going through the motions of this lousy old circus
So you retreat to your bed to stare at the ceiling
Trying to make sense of all that you’re feeling
That terrible feeling inside that cuts like a knife
The sadness of the unlived, meaningless life.

thoughts

~ Simple Joy ~

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~ Simple Joy ~

“I can’t force it. And I won’t force it. If it takes me ten years to write my next book, then so be it. All the effort of trying has escaped me. I’m happy – happy to let the streams flow and the clouds drift and buds blossom at their own pace. I’ve reached a point of total contentment with the natural course of things. All the nagging voices of teachers and parents have long but left my mind. I never cared for jumping through their hoops and I’m happy to have found inner peace at a relatively young age. I’m happy to sit and meditate; to write a couple of poems a week; to run the same track along the river continuously. I understand that I may not be seen as ambitious, but that’s okay. I believe there is a rare joy in my heart that will never be experienced by those millionaires who sit in mansions counting their money. Oh, what a thing it is to realise you are the maker of your own happiness; that life is simple and not complicated at all. It’s certainly saved me a lot of trouble and toil. It may have even saved my life. And now this life has been saved, I intend to live it totally in line with my inner flow. Right now that inner flow tells me to stop writing these words. It tells me to look up from my laptop and outside my bedroom window. The sun is setting and its last rays of light are beaming through the trees. The birds sing their song as they hop from branch to branch. Excuse me, I’ve got something I need to see. Excuse me, I’ve got some happiness to feel.”