thoughts

~ An Inner Discovery ~

~ An Inner Discovery ~

“You can search as long and as far as you like. You can search the high-streets. You can search the bars and the dating websites. You can search the mountains, the holy buildings – the yoga retreats. But if you do not eventually journey inside yourself, then all external searches will do is leave you with a headache and tired legs. Everything you desire you already carry within the backpack of your being. Take it off, unzip it and stare into the beautiful madness that is your own soul.”

an inner discover

short stories

~ A Christmas Abroad ~

~ A Christmas Abroad ~

“It was December 25th, Christmas Day, and I was sat alone on a sofa in the hostel reception sipping a caipirinha cocktail. I was in sunny Brazil, Rio De Janeiro, out travelling the world with a beach right out on my front doorstep – yet I couldn’t help but feel slightly depressed. For the first time on this trip I was homesick. Christmas was the time to be with family and friends back home – not getting drunk half way around the world by yourself. That was fun of course normally, but in this instance it felt a little out of place. It wasn’t my first Christmas abroad, but it was my first one not shared with a large group of people in a home of some sort. It was a strange feeling – a feeling which lead to me drinking more and more sugary, high-strength cocktails.

While wallowing in my own tipsy self-pity, my roommate came over and asked to join me for a drink. He was an eccentric, middle-aged, bald Greek guy who been travelling most of his adult life. He had stories from just about every country and continent and still maintained that child-like excitement about the world around him. He sat down and shared some drinks and travel stories. I told him of my first trip to Ghana and he told me of his life of perpetual gypsy travel. It turned out this was his eighth Christmas abroad in a strange country far from home. He told me about them all as we sipped our drinks down in an orderly manner. After chattering away like excitable children, we decided to go down to beach to catch some Christmas day sun – the world-famous Copacabana beach was right on our doorstep after all.

We reached the beach and slumped ourselves down in the sand. We ordered a few beers off a vendor walking past and carried on drinking in the midday heat. I sat there staring out into the Atlantic ocean, sipping that cold beer, chatting away with my new friend. While there in the heat of the sun, I gradually began to think about my own future, and whether I would be spending the next Christmas at home or somewhere else in the world on a beach with a stranger. Was I heading down the same path as him? Was I sailing further away into the unknown? Was I becoming a perpetual traveller? As I pondered these questions a man came over across the sand trying to sell us sunglasses. Now drunk, I bought a pair and invited him to sit and drink a beer with us. We got chatting and I soon found out that he too was a foreigner travelling in Brazil. As we drank, he spoke about his life, his journey and his aspirations for the future.

It was strange; in those moments as I sat there and listened to those two nomadic strangers, I suddenly felt the homesickness begin to subside. Listening to excited people who were travelling alone in a foreign country made me feel like I was back home, wrapped up warm around the glowing lights of a Christmas tree. It made me feel like an excited kid again. It was then that I realised these were the kind of people in life I shared the greatest affinity with. Not the settlers or static souls, but the wanderers – the aliens – the nomads and outcasts. The people who didn’t try fit into a society that didn’t fit them. And the more I travelled, the more of them I met. They were the ones with the wild eyes that – if you looked deeply enough – beheld the scorching sunsets, the jagged mountains, the wide oceans and gypsy madness. They were the ones who laughed in the face of soulless monotony and declared war on the normal – the ones who took life by the scruff of the neck without compromise and hunted the horizon until the very end.”

thoughts

~ The Responsibility Of Freedom ~

~ The Responsibility of Freedom ~

“So many people say they want freedom, but very few actually mean it. Being truly free means thinking for yourself. It means being solely responsible for the direction in which way your life is heading. To a lot of people that is a terrifying prospect. People would rather sink back into their sofas and be told what to think; they would rather follow the crowd than instinct – would rather be guided by an institution than intuition. The reason why is that living freely is the greatest form of responsibility there is. It means being the sailor of your own ship. It means trusting yourself to the water and self-navigating the ocean. Ultimately, being truly free means getting up to look in the mirror everyday knowing that it is you – and only you – who is responsible should you drift off course and end up sinking into the abyss.”

 

thoughts

~ Moments Alone ~

~ Moments Alone ~

“There are times when there aren’t enough words or combinations of words to explain yourself to the others. There are times when it is simply too exhausting to stand once again before non-understanding eyes and feel the futility of conversation. In those times what is needed is complete solitude, a total release from the suffocation and toxicity of the crowd. What is needed is a return to nature to remind yourself that, although you may be often misunderstood in society, the universe still holds a home for you out in the wild. It holds a home for you in those empty fields, sunset shores and lonely forests. It holds a home for you in the untamed spaces of freedom and purity. And often all that is needed to carry on is a moment out in that wild – staring out at a sunset sky or listening to the water sing its way down a meandering stream – that you remember that somehow, in all the mess and madness of this world, you are and always will be totally where you belong.”

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thoughts

~ An Original Path ~

~ An Original Path ~

It’s okay wild warrior. You feel different from them because you are different. There’s nothing wrong with you at all. You don’t need to change and there is no reason for you to hide or compromise who you really are. There are as many ways to see reality as there are as many people on the planet. The secret they don’t want you to know is that there is no such thing as ‘normality’. Normality is relative and changes from culture to culture, from country to country – from decade to decade. It is nothing more than an ever-changing, collective hallucination about how life should be lived. Recognise this simple fact and liberate yourself from the masses out there frantically tripping over themselves in the rush to fit into the same mould. Trust in yourself and embrace your alien madness. We all face the same fate at the end of the road anyway, so just go for it: live a life that is true to yourself. Live a life that contributes to the human adventure. Live a life so ferocious and free that even the gods sit on the edge of their seat as they marvel from above.”

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poetry

~ The Secret Stars ~

~ The Secret Stars ~

Always we talk of stars
as things far away
high up in the sky
the famous people in the movies
the millionaires in the mansions
something that cannot be reached

but sometimes there are stars close by
so close in fact that we can even touch them

sometimes there is a blazing brightness
in the eyes of the elderly man
fighting through another day
of silent loneliness

sometimes there is a fire burning
in the heart of the small child
rising up against the darkness
of a bully’s hatred

sometimes a light can be found
in the darkest cities
in the darkest bars
a drunk with a tale of magic

and sometimes, the brightest star
– you’d almost miss it
because it was nothing more
than a stranger on a train
looking at you and smiling
with no intention
other than reminding you
that this crazy world

isn’t so dark

after all.

 

thoughts

~ Home Alone ~

~ Home Alone ~

“Braving the battleground of normal life was never easy whenever I came back from a long trip. I found I was constantly in conflict with everything around me. Where people wanted a house full of things, I aspired to fit my possessions into a backpack; where people saved up for a new car, I saved up for a plane ticket. Often the alienation from everything was overwhelming. Whenever it all became too much, I retreated into the shelter of my own mind. Sitting there alone I would look out and watch people falling. I watched them falling onto sofas. I watched them falling into careers and fashions. I watched them falling into mortgages, marriages and high-street shopping lines. Everywhere I looked, people fell. It was raining normality and there was nothing I could do.”

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(taken from my book ‘The Thoughts From The Wild’ available here)

thoughts

~ Hunted ~

~ Hunted ~

“Forget that “you can be anything you want to be” bullshit they told you in school. This society cannot stand true individuality; it cannot stand seeing an empowered individual being happy while living an alternative lifestyle. I know this because I decided to live life my way and not society’s from a young age, and for that I have been hunted relentlessly. They have come after me with their stabbing stares and piercing comments. They have come after me with their nets of fear and hatred – with their weapons of degradation and mockery. Life can be a relentless struggle, but I have learnt how to survive. I have even began to enjoy the thrill of their hunt. I am out on the wild plains and I run with the hunted. I run with the wild horses. I run with the madmen and maniacs – with the artists and adventurers. My hair is messy and my spirit uncombed. I warm myself with the fire in my heart. I feast off the carcass of my own madness. I experience great periods of isolation and solitude, but I will never quit. I will never let them capture or tame me; I will never let them drag me down. I shall run with those wild horses until the setting of the sun.”

hunted

(taken from my book ‘The Thoughts From The Wild’ available here)