It’s a Saturday evening and I’m home alone Trying to write a poem I’m listening to ambient music Looking at pretty pictures of sunsets Hoping that inspiration will strike As the words come flooding onto the page.
It’s a strange process that is hard to explain But doing this, instead of being at the bar, Well it gives me the sort of joy That one only gets when they are in touch With something spiritual and sacred.
For some reason I decided to be a writer I’ve been doing it for over ten years now Nothing has really made much sense to me Except when I’m organising words together.
School didn’t come naturally Jobs didn’t come naturally Social life didn’t come naturally But for some reason this did.
And that’s why I’m here tonight Still giving it all that I’ve got Sailing out on the sea of creative thought Lowering my net into the depths And trying to catch a big juicy 200 pound poem to take home And display on my wall.
For now it appears I’ve only caught this one Which, admittedly, isn’t my best But hey, I’m having fun Typing these words Jamming out alone On a Saturday evening.
I’ll think I’ll even crack open a beer As I keep on sailing on this sea Doing the thing which puts everything in the right place Which makes me feel like I’m on that dancefloor Busting my moves and celebrating life In all its strange joy.
Another weekday It’s 9pm again And the temptation to turn on the television And watch some crap appears.
No, I say to myself This is the time to create To write some words And share some truth.
So here I am back at the keyboard Persevering with my poems As my girlfriend learns piano.
What’s the point, I sometimes wonder It’d be so much easier to sink into a groove To find some comedy series And let my mind be numbed After a long day at work.
It does feel good, When the odd good poem comes along But too often it’s just hours Of staring at the screen Starting and deleting sentences Going around and around In your own mind Searching for that something Which you imagine no one else has ever said As you write the poem that changes the world That will cause everyone to become enlightened As the climate crisis is averted And world peace is finally announced.
In reality, you just type more words To post onto your blog To be read by fifteen people Somewhere around the world Whom you’ll never meet Or even message.
Well, look, I guess this is one more poem The third one of the evening, in fact I’m not sure if they’re any good But at least I can feel like I’ve earned An episode of The Simpsons now.
Today I’m making the decision To let it all go: All my anger, my mistakes And my pain.
Today I think I’m going to Let myself be born again As I close the book Of my story so far written And throw it out the window.
I think I’m going to head outside too I’m going to stroll down some streets And look up at the sky Rather than down at the floor. I’m going to think of things I’m grateful for Rather than bemoan mild inconveniences.
I’m going to spend time understanding things Rather than looking and judging And I’m going to take my time to think Before I let words come out of my mouth To make sure I truly mean them.
I’m going to taste every breath To drink each one in deliciously For to be alive and in good health Is a supreme victory in itself And I’m going to appreciate Everything that comes my way Rather than get lost in thoughts Which take me away from The wonderful show in front of me.
Having made this decision, I already feel considerably better Like a shot of miracle medicine Has gone through me And I realise that a person’s reality Can be reshaped at any time As they let go of their pain As they grow new eyes As they reopen their hearts And learn to live again.
Don’t let them do it Don’t let them close the door That lies inside of you To access your radiant And authentic self.
Don’t let them make you think That your voice isn’t worthy of airtime That your dance moves are weird And that your smile isn’t deserved. Let that thing beam beautifully bright As you live in tune with your true nature.
Don’t let them tell you you need this or that Trust in what gives you joy rather than pleasure And don’t let them make you feel inadequate Make sure to get away from the crowd’s chatter As often as you possibly can For it’s a world of people speaking words Which are not truly their own And are often just filling the silence Which they fear.
Don’t let your mind get polluted with dogma Nor let your spirit get suppressed by sullen people. Find your safe spaces and spend time in them. Treat your inner self as a sacred garden Cultivate the crop of your peace Tend to the flowers of your happiness Observe what causes you to grow And be careful of who you let in there, if anyone.
Look after yourself in these simple ways And slowly, over time You will see your character blossom And your eyes become like flowers Containing all the light of life And people will behold them Wanting themselves to bloom too As the smiles keep spreading And this world gets A little brighter.
God, I think about it all now. How wild and crazy I was in my twenties. Flying to Iceland alone with a tent, hitchhiking around the island; cycling around the Scottish highlands with a girl I was seeing; living in a Rio de Janeiro suburb with a Brazilian family; hiking ten hours a day in the Nepalese Himalayas. I remember the locals laughing at me and telling me there was no chance I was going to reach my destination in one day. I dismissed their comments and hiked like hell, climbing a 2000m mountain pass in just a few hours. I then walked along a slippery ridge with no guide or safety equipment. Why? I just had to. I just had to live as hard as possible and be on my voyage to wherever it was I was supposed to be. There was no logical debate or reason; I was just following that inner voice that was screaming for raw experience. That voice made the entirety of my twenties a restless, whirlwind adventure. And sitting here now at thirty-one, I have to say that things have finally slowed down. There aren’t many dramatic and daring trips on the horizon. I now go on holidays and weekends away with my girlfriend. My current mission is getting my driver’s licence. I spend my weekends cooking new recipes and meditating and watching football matches. Right now, I’m enjoying a decaf coffee as I write at my desk on a work night, listening to some ambient music while feeling contentment from the simple things.
At one point I thought this kind of life was unfulfilling. I imagined myself running through the wilderness like a crazed animal until my hair was grey and my face wrinkled. I imagined myself exploring distant lands, partying most nights, getting in dangerous situations. Anything sedentary or static was the enemy of the soul. But the truth is now although the thrills are not there like before, there is a great peace in myself that I was missing for a long time while in my younger years. Ultimately, it was a lust for life fuelled by my existential dissatisfaction that propelled me into that thorny wilderness. I felt that traditional life was a con and most people were wasting their lives in trivial and mundane routines. But now – after all those adventures – I feel I have discovered the universal joy that can exist in every moment of life, regardless of one’s destination, should one be perceptive enough to the reality of being alive.
For example, I am living by a river now. It is a river I have ran or walked along hundreds of times. I’m there almost every day, in fact. And when I look out at geese flying above, the sun sparkling on the water, even the rowers going up and down – I stand and marvel at the beauty of the world the same way I did when I stood in front of Mount Everest. I feel a great delight and peace in my soul with this simple sight that I see all the time. And I just want to keep on living beside it and running my route and watching those geese and experiencing the bliss I have now discovered inside of myself. I simply don’t need to jump on a one way flight to some far-off place and get drunk with strangers before climbing a mountain. That life was fun and it made me who I am today, but now I’m in a different and, ultimately, happier place.
Okay, there is the chance that maybe I’ve just become tired or boring. But isn’t that what people do when they find inner peace? The life of a monk is hardly thrilling, but for most they live without the pain and torment that the average person experiences. And I think this is what I want now: to spend my days in peace and harmony. To meditate, to run, to write poetry, to cook, to spend time with my girlfriend and let the light rush through me. I know that without having done the epic journey, I would not have arrived at this sacred space I now reside in. Through intensive internal reflection, I have found my own formula to happiness. It is a place that maybe many people never get to experience, especially around the age I am now. But now I’ve broken through to it, I’m going to make the absolute most of it. Right now I am still sipping that coffee, listening to this music, and letting the words arrive one by one onto the page. I may publish this piece of writing somewhere or I might not. It doesn’t matter. Just the act of doing it fulfils me just as much as all those adventures did. Maybe I’ll be back on the road someday after another existential crisis, but for now I’m enjoying this oasis I have cultivated for myself. Tomorrow I’ll return to that river and watch the sunlight on the water; I’ll kiss my girlfriend on the cheek and hold her tight; I’ll cook a new meal and appreciate the flavour of the recipe. This is my life now. Yes, at the age of thirty-one, my adventure has finally slowed, but how my happiness has blossomed.
God, I was never going to understand them Why they did the things they did I was never going to be able to fit in And join in their little game Working long hours Chasing material things Bragging about their busyness Designer clothes and flash cars Expensive watches on wrists Shoving cocaine up their nose on the weekend While chatting incessantly about themselves.
To me, these were people enslaved They were the blindest of the blind Their smiles were fake and their words false Maybe they thought they were masculine That I was weak and they were strong But the truth couldn’t be avoided I could see it in their tired eyes In the way they talked without thinking How untrue their words sounded And how they walked in a way Which shown what a dull performance It all was.
Yes, I may not be a traditional man With societal status or success But I am so glad not to be one of them.
I am so glad I am able to stare into the sky And let my mind be truly clear As the sunlight enters my soul I am glad I am able to be alone in peace And hear the inner voice singing within I am glad I am able to write poetry To meditate, to help others And to experience a simple joy From just watching a sunset.
By not participating in their game And listening to that inner voice I have found myself obtaining a wealth That I suspect they will never experience As their mouths continue to bark As their cars continue to rev And their wrists adorn those watches That will never tell them The time they can’t get back.
Bryan sits in his holiday home in The Netherlands Drinking beer and writing short stories Contemplating quitting his job and flying to India Another mad voyage at the age of thirty-five James sits drinking wine in a cafe in portugal Before jumping on his motorbike and heading home Winding around the coastal roads With the Atlantic breeze in his hair.
Yes, today I think of the friends of mine Scattered around this world Making their way through their lives Filling their cups; escaping those walls Searching for the good life That all true men desire.
May my story be like theirs The tale of a man seeking the supreme substance Tasting the nectar that stirs the soul Making us grab life by the handlebars And drive toward that holy horizon Where the world will make us complete My fellow brothers united in spirit The insatiable spirit of adventure That keeps us wild-eyed and alive To the end.
I guess I was always a little wild A little rebellious, a little reckless From a young age, I walked my own path Following the signposts of the soul Rather than the signposts of society I trusted the authority of my intuition Rather than any government or institution I still feel this way; each person must find Their own path through this wilderness If they are to find out who they truly are And get the most out of this life.
Self-direction is the way And I will never stop thinking for myself Nor settle down into some sofa Turning on a TV and turning off my mind I shall follow this internal compass to whatever end For without it, I would not have found The joy that I now store in my soul The fire that burns in my heart And the truth that runs through My words.
To write your story you must first be willing to live it Everything worth reading about Was done by people who thrusted themselves forward into life’s wilderness Without any certainty of how they would end up But a person cannot know true completion Until they have experienced life at its core And it goes without saying that life’s core is to Live To be totally alive and awake to each moment Journeying into the heart of everything And filling their soul with some substance.
Security will not get one there. Pleasing others will not get one there. Following the rules will not get one there. Walking a set path will not get one there.
Such conformity must be unlearnt And a person must return to the infant state Exploring the universe via their own intuition Following the signposts of the soul Rather than the signposts of society.
Tread forward with purpose and vigour And don’t think that you don’t have something to offer There is still treasure waiting to be unearthed Stories waiting to be written, wisdom to be obtained. Give yourself to the world and it will give something back
And it’s the reason you avoid being alone with your own thoughts. It’s the reason you need the noise, the bright lights, the drinks, the television shows. It’s the reason you feel that sickness inside is never going to go away, why you get annoyed over trivial things, and why you haven’t smiled at a simple sight in so long now. Can you not see how you’ve got yourself all tangled up in a lifestyle that is constricting your happiness? Take a moment to pause and reflect. Find a quiet spot somewhere. Stare at the clouds in the sky, at the willows in the pond. Be like that water surface; not bubbling up violently with thoughts – but sitting still and gentle. Let the noise die down; let the ripples of your mind settle. Somewhere along the way you’ve got yourself mixed up, but that’s okay – in this society it’s easy for it to happen. Distractions and deception are everywhere, but nature will not confuse or lie to you. It will tell you the innate truth that has been drowned out. The truth that you belong. The truth that you are already enough. The truth that you are living in harmony with the universe and that just being alive is a glorious thing. Each moment peace of the soul is possible and you can be nurtured back to some kind of sanity. Do not rush off to medicate yourself or chase some other ‘thing’ that promises happiness. Start by unplugging and letting go. Embrace simplicity and get into tune with your surrounding natural universe. Look at the trees growing tall by just being and realise you belong to the same energy system. Find the soil from which you can grow; the space from which you can breathe. No matter how broken you feel, this world will make you blossom again.
~ A Voice From The Wild ~ 