thoughts

~ One Day ~

~ One Day ~

“Yes, this world often makes you question who you are and whether you’re good enough. With everything seeming like a constant test, it’s easy to succumb to self-doubt and hatred, but one day you will realise things that will cause you to see yourself in a different light, and to not be so hard on yourself all the time. One day you will realise that you couldn’t be the person you are now without having endured what you’ve endured. You’ll stand and face that mirror and smile with what you see in the reflection. Those eyes will no longer appear as sad things, but within them you shall see their shining beauty; the beauty you spent so much time not seeing because you were too busy feeling like you weren’t good enough. One day you will not slouch your shoulders and feel sorrow for your past, but you will hold your head high knowing that you marched strong and true through that storm. One day you will not let the little things get you down, but brush them off with wild laughter in your heart. You will know that life is full of inconveniences, but it’s worth the trouble anyway. One day you will realise that you are a warrior, as much as those in the books and movies, and you’ll see that your scars are not things to be ashamed of, but marks of perseverance and resilience. One day those trivial worries will disappear and a childlike sense of joy will blossom in your heart. You will not be easily beset with gloom, but you’ll find beauty in all the world around you, and life will not be some terrifying task to get through, but a tremendous and beautiful gift bestowed upon you. One day soon you will realise all of these things. And when you do, your soul will smile, because you will look back and see that your life has been a good one, a victorious one even. And with that, you will finally allow yourself to be happy, to be proud, and most of all, to be totally at peace with the person you are.”

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thoughts

~ Accepting the Rough ~

~ Accepting the Rough ~

“God, I wasn’t made like they were. Their stable minds and smooth edges. The way they fitted so easily into the system. How orderly the words came out of their mouths. How neatly they wore their clothes and shoes. The way they walked and the way they talked. They were all well-made components of some machine. But me? I was crooked and bent-shaped – a jagged piece of the jigsaw. My thoughts were not those of sanity or sensibility. My heart longed for things that couldn’t be purchased in any store. My soul screamed out for something not in my surroundings. It was a strange way to be and for a long time I was sure I was destined for suicide or madness. I stared into that mirror and saw my demise unfolding before my eyes. Not knowing quite what to do, I went out into the world to try and see what I could discover about myself. I packed my bags and wandered in foreign lands. I drank with strangers, worked dead-end jobs. I climbed mountains and hitch-hiked on country roads. I stared out at sunsets and wrote poetry under the stars. Amid that tempestuous journey of self-discovery, I came to realise that there was nothing fundamentally wrong with me. Sure, I had flaws like most people, but I also had many strengths and, I believed, a good heart. And the more I wandered, the more I even came to discover that there were others out there like me. They had walked a similar path and had felt similar things in their hearts. Their eyes shared that same look – a wistful one which held a deep longing for some sort of home. I even spoke to them; became friends with them. Those people gave me a hope I had needed and told me that there is no inherent right or wrong way to be. I may not have been a smooth piece of the jigsaw, but I was myself and that is enough. And yes, I still know my life will be less straightforward than most, but I have found a sort of spirit inside of me that will keep me going on this solitary path. On that path I now stride as I wear my rough edges with pride and know the secret beauty of not fitting in.”

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thoughts

~ A Distant Daydream ~

~ A Distant Daydream ~

“Girl, this cruel and crazy world was never meant for us. I always wanted to ask you to run away with me, so let’s plan our escape and leave in the middle of the night. Meet me there on the shores of destiny, where the ships of us set sail to a greater world. Meet me there out beyond the fences, where we slip the shackles of misery and despair. Meet me there over the hills, in the place where the empty-hearted do not dwell, where the skies are clear and the sun bears witness to our own peace and happiness. In those untamed spaces, we shall unite under the banner of freedom. We will walk proudly upon the land of our own contentment. We will find our way among the wilderness to live a life that fills our hearts with a feeling of raw joy. No longer will the clouds rain and the tyrants enslave. No longer will we know pain or fear or heartache. Girl, the time is now. Let’s leave tonight. Meet me there. Meet me there.

Meet me.”

a brush with normality

thoughts

~ The Greatest Treasure of All ~

~ The Greatest Treasure of All ~

“Kid,” he said. “It’s not all about finding yourself. Some of the greatest advice one can receive at a young age is to go and get lost. Get lost and lose yourself in love and in life. Lose yourself in adventure and music. Lose yourself dancing under a starry sky, or running through a foreign field. Lose yourself in a dream or a moment or an idea. Those who know their surroundings too well become idle; their minds lose their sense of childlike awe and wonder. Inspiration is discovered when your eyes are open in new worlds. That is why sometimes you have to run headfirst into the unknown. Like a river running into the ocean, like a bird flying south. Abandon yourself to something that calls you. Leave behind all you thought you knew. Pack your bags and wander with the wild-eyed; drink with the brokenhearted; dance with the insane. Follow your heart through life’s wilderness and your road shall be an epic adventure to treasure, with your soul enriched with the essence of everything that is wild and beautiful. You’ll be the person who got lost out in the world and found the greatest treasure of all: life itself.”

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thoughts

~ A Slow Depletion ~

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~ A Slow Depletion ~

“Alone in a rented room, just a desk and a single bed, and a laptop to write. But the laptop’s battery was broken and its charge slowly depleting down to zero. It was a symbolic situation I guess. For a long time now I had felt myself being drained of whatever life was inside of me. I knew the people beyond those walls didn’t understand or care. It was a sick society and people had their own problems to overcome. Depression. Anxiety. Past traumas. Redundancies. Divorces. Midlife crisis’. The horrors of everyday life were being raged upon many out there. Faces passing you on the street were masks hiding a mess of internal troubles. Life was a constant storm and it was only natural that your eyes looked up to the skies for some sort of help. Myself? I figured if there was a god, it was a trickster god. There was no way these sorts of scenes could come into place by some benevolent force. I looked out and saw a society where people emptied out over years of monotonous routine; where people went insane in small rooms alone; where people’s dreams were suppressed and their prayers remained unanswered. Meanwhile, I stared out the window and watched the birds in the trees. They didn’t have money or jobs or civilisation or dreams. But I saw more victory in their existence than I did in the one we had entered ourselves into it. I figured the reason behind it too. Life was incredibly simple at its core, yet we insisted on making it complicated. Our brains are over-saturated computers that buffer and crash and stall. Our senses have been overloaded by the noise of society. We are the computers that crash, the batteries that deplete. We are slowly running down to our destruction as we become more and more convoluted. For now, it’s trying to make sense of this crazy world while hitting the keys of this slowly-dying computer. Just another person trying to make their mark before the life leaves me completely.”

thoughts

~ Exploding with Magic ~

~ Exploding with Magic ~

“I know it’s hard sometimes to believe in your own voice. You’ve grown up in a world where it has been suppressed from a young age. You’ve felt the influences of the world – those heavy hands of authority fall on your shoulder and tell you what it is you have to do to be accepted. Those things you felt in your heart, you were made to believe they were incorrect or wrong. You were asked to abandon your dreams and passions in order to ‘get real’. You were told it was fitting in that was important rather than keeping your unique shape. It is like this in our world. The pliers of society will cause many out there to abandon their magic for the sake of social sanity and acceptance. It is insidious and happens often without us realising. Dreams die a cold death. Songs are silenced. Wings are clipped. That is why we stop and stare when we see someone who has not let their spirit tamed by society. Those free birds sing the sweetest songs because secretly we all crave to do the same; to be unashamedly ourselves and to live in line with what our hearts truly desire rather than what is blindly expected of us. A different way is possible and this is not something for you to just read about on a travel blog or in a poetry book. You too can break free and live a life of immense personal truth and authenticity. It’s all there waiting inside of you. Just spend some time alone and have a look at your life. Learn to listen to your inner voice once again. Know what it is you need to do then summon up the courage and belief to do it. I promise you, you’ll find yourself enriched with something that will make the world around you explode with magic.”

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thoughts

~ A Crazy Little Idea ~

~ A Crazy Little Idea ~

I have this idea in my head that some may call a little crazy. I believe that my time alive here is precious, and I am not ashamed to say that I do not want my life to be one with a predetermined path, a generic job and the sort of life that makes your parents’ heads nod with approval. In my heart, I know I will not find satisfaction with the things that are expected of me, and I guess I am choosing to sacrifice the comfort of normality for the thrill of living a life defined by my own rules. The truth is that I’ve always felt that I am a little at odds with this world; whether it has been in school or in jobs – in crowds or alone – I have felt that my spirit is from another realm than the one I find myself in. The life of blindly following established traditions fills me with dread, and it is with the burning passion inside of me that I must go out into the world and forge my own path. These feet of mine will not allow me to be bound to a place of silent heartache for the sake of social acceptance and security. Instead, they will know the movement of adventure, tread the ground of the unknown, and carry the weight of a man whose every step takes him further toward the shores of his own destiny. This is the way I am and the way I always will be. Another dreamer on the run, chasing my bliss and living every day of life as if it were a rebellion against death itself.

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thoughts

~ Incompatible ~

~ Incompatible ~

“At the tail end of my twenties, I stood and looked out at a society of sane and stable minds. I saw people who were settled and content. I saw people who fitted in neatly to the system. I saw people who strolled through life without any real problems. To see myself as one of them was almost impossible. Everything that came so easily to everyone: jobs, sanity, expectations and small-talk was like poison to my soul. I was one who didn’t see the world as they did. I went on adventures in my mind. I looked out for the birds overhead. Instead of thinking about laying roots, I dreamed of flying away to far-off lands. I walked those streets and felt like a foreigner in a strange land, looking out for someplace I belonged or could at least take shelter in. And those faces that passed me: I couldn’t relate to any of them. The mouths that moved but did not speak; the eyes that looked but did not see. Who were these people? Where had they come from? To roam alone your whole life craving connection with another but to somehow never find it is perhaps the greatest loneliness of all. Alone in the crowd you yearn for some sort of communion, but those streets leave you feeling like a creature from another star system. As time goes on, you gradually accept that those people aren’t feeling what you’re feeling and seeing what you’re seeing. Your place among their world is non-existent, and consequently you become a wanderer of the outside spaces. Those spaces are ones of constant reflection and for me I do not know what awaits me out there in the future. I didn’t ask to come to this place and now I am here I hope to find my way to some sort of home. I’m a long way from that but I will carry on toward a place where I understand my reason for being. Before my death, I hope to know what that is.”

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thoughts

~ A Thought For The Broken ~

~ A Thought for the Broken ~

“Yes, I know you are hurting. This world has broken you. It breaks many of us at some point, but you are not going to give in because I can still see the flames that will start a great fire still flickering within those eyes. You are going to overcome this, but know that it’s not going to be easy. The warrior inside you doesn’t even want it to be. It’s going to be a great battle in which you shall dive down and rescue yourself from the depths of hell. Soon that darkness will pass, the dungeons will be unlocked, the dragons and demons will leave your skies. A new dawn shall arrive as the flags of joy in your heart flutter once more in that morning wind. This is it: the greatest battle you will ever face, and you will face it as who you really are: a child of infinity; a warrior of the sun. And it is a battle you are going to win. But first remember to be gentle to yourself. You are not responsible for saving the world, but first yourself, and please know that you are worth saving. Those eyes were meant to blaze with brightness, not wither with gloom; those feet were meant to dance in ecstasy, not trudge in the swamp.

 In all your despair, you have forgotten that you are the entire universe dancing in a singular being for a singular lifetime. Stars have died; light has travelled billions of years; cosmic magic has been weaved. Your very flesh contains the fundamental fabric of the entire universe and no matter what anyone says: you matter and you count. So go on: do whatever it takes. Go crazy if you have to. Reinvent yourself. Set fire to your soul and let the battle begin; let your spirit be unleashed. Because there is no way a divine being such as yourself was meant to dwell in darkness and despair. Those days are over and now is the time to emerge from that swamp; now is the time to claim back what is yours. With the power of a million suns burning deep inside your heart, now is the time to rise up and become who you were born to be.”

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thoughts

~ Finding Meaning ~

~ Finding Meaning ~

“Days that feel wasted. Days that play out the same old way. Days that leave you wishing for something that cannot be explained in words. And you feel it deep inside, that itch in your bones to get out and live your life in a new way; to go beyond the boundaries of the ordinary. You look at people on the streets and know that so many have chosen to dwell in lives not meant for them. So many have feared the unknown and neglected things inside themselves. And slowly you see it take its toll: in the eyes, in the heart, in the mind, and in the soul. The thought of facing the same fate leaves you feeling empty, but please know that there is a way out of all that. There is a way out of the drudgery and the misery of the mundane. It’s a life-changing move and it begins with a simple decision. It’s the decision to choose faith over fear, freedom over security, adventure over comfort, authenticity over expectation. The decision to rise and follow your heart away from it all; to follow that voice that calls deep within to the things you desire deepest, and to not let it be drowned out by the voices or judgment of others. Yes, your road will be a little rockier and your skin a little more scarred, but when you get to the end of it, you will know that your life was more than just a solemn march to the grave, but instead a thrilling run through the wilderness, a wild dance in the waterfall – a dive deep into the ocean of the unknown. You will know that your life was one that was experienced to the full; a life bound by passion and purpose which did not know the tragedy of wasted days and wasted years.”

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