~ The Burden of Sensitivity ~

~ The Burden of Sensitivity ~

“And it emptied me. The hopelessness in my heart staring into her eyes. The lack of chance for any real connection. The thought that no matter how many eyes I stared into, there will always be this empty space inside of me that would never be filled. I knew somewhere inside of me I was destined to be a loner till the end. I could feel it in my bones. It was a world not made for those whose hearts hung open like broken screen doors. Such sensitivity will see the storms flood into you without compromise. Your heart will become drenched; your interior ripped and torn apart. You will sit alone in that cold wondering how to find a way to warm up and dry off. In the meanwhile, you’ll look out at the world around you and feel like you’re cursed. You watch the people stroll through life so easily. You see the hands of lovers connect. You observe their smiles and their laughs – that out of reach happiness that never comes, but arrives so easily to the others. To be a feeler in this crazy world is to suffer tremendously, but in a way you end up depending on your suffering. It shapes you. It defines you. Drenched in the unrelenting deluge of your own emotions, you will go through life feeling the weight of every moment. The sadness of the sunsets. The heartache of the years. The loneliness of the crowd. The pain will become almost like a companion to you as you stagger on through the years. In a strange way, I guess I couldn’t even imagine another way to be. Without this state of being, I wouldn’t know where to go or what to do. Without that pain in my soul, I wouldn’t even recognise the person staring back at me in the mirror.”